A Fact...!

What is da heaviest burden of life_____?




"AN EMPTY POCKET":-)

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Milne ki tamanna
lekar aaya hai ye sms,
Chehre pe smile ki
tamanna lekar
aaya hai ye sms,
Bhule nahi hai yar tuje,
Ye yaad dilane aaya hai ye sms.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Knowing what is broken is the corner stone of knowing how to fix it

New addition to the periodic table

Part II:
Element Name: WOMAN
Symbol: Wo
Atomic Weight: (don't even go there)
Physical properties: Generally Boils
at anything and may freeze at any time.
Melts whenever treated properly.
Very bitter if mishandled.
Chemical properties: Very active.
Highly unstable.
Possesses strong affinity with
gold, silver, platinum & precious stones.
Volatile when left alone!

Sometimes d road travelled
turns out to be more beautiful
than the destination reached.
Enjoy leading ur life...

For the first time in, oh, a decade, I think, something from Microsoft shipped on time: Jennifer Katharine Gates,
weighed 8 pounds 6 ounces when she was downloaded, er, born on Friday, April 26 at 6:11 p.m.

And what do Baby Gates and Daddy-s products have in common?

1.Neither can stand on its own two feet without a LOT of third party support.
2.Both barf all over themselves regularly.
3.Regardless of the problem, calling Microsoft Tech Support won-t help.
4.As they mature, we pray that they will be better than that which preceded them.
5.At first release they-re relatively compact, but they seem to grow and grow and grow with each passing year.
6.Although announced with great fanfare, pretty much anyone could have produced one.
7.They arrive in shaky condition with inadequate documentation.
8.No matter what, it takes several months between the announcement and the actual release.
9.Bill gets the credit, but someone else did most of the work.
10.For at least the next year, they-ll suck.

There-s an Englishman, a Scotsman and a Chinese man. The Englishman says ""I bet my dog can run round the park 50 times without needing a wee. After 40 times it had a wee."" Then the Scotsman said ""I bet my dog can run round the park 100 times without needing a wee."" After 90 times, the dog had a wee. Then the Chinese man said ""I bet my dog can run round the park 200 times without needing a wee."" It got round 200 times without needing a wee. The Englishmen and Scotsman said to the Chinese man ""How did it do that?"" The Chinese man said ""Me not stupid, me not silly, me tie knot in my dogs wiily""

Once there were three Surds. One day they decided to go on a picnic. When they got there, they realized they had
forgotten the soda. The youngest Surd said he would go home and get it if they wouldn-t eat the sandwiches until
he got back.

A week went by, then a month, finally a year, when the two Surds said, ""Oh, come on, let-s eat the sandwiches."" Suddenly the little Surd popped up from behind a rock and
said, ""If you do, I won-t go!""

An Indian US citizen goes to the doctor because he just
simply doesn-t feel good. He-s tired, his stomach is upset, he has a headache. Just feels terrible. The doctor checks him over and can-t find any medical reason for him to feel the way he does. He offers a Naturotherepy approach that he has seen work before. The Indian man is stunned, though, that the treatment means
he has to go home, shit and piss into a plastic bag and leave it in his basement for a week.
""Trust me,"" the doctor says, ""I have seen this work."" The
man goes home and follows through on the instructions. Within
a day, though his house smells terrible and by the end of the week, it is an overwhelming stench. His eyes water every time he walks in the door, but he feels no better. He calls to yell at the doctor who calmly says, ""Go down and take three big deep breaths directly from the bag and you will be cured."" ""You-re crazy!"" comes the reply. ""Trust me.""
says the doctor. Down he goes into the basement and he takes
the first breath. Gagging and choking, he does it again. Then, on the third breath, he feels the headache leave. His stomach settles and he feels amazingly well. The stench is even tolerable. He calls the doctor to tell him the good news. ""I told you I-ve seen this work with people from
India before, ""says the doctor. ""You were just homesick!""

Three guys, an Indian, a Pakistani and an Afghan are out walking together one day. These 3 guys come across a lantern. When they rub it, a Genie pops out of it. ""I will give you each one wish, that-s three wishes total,"" says the Genie.
The Afghan says, ""I am a farmer, my dad was a farmer, and my son will also be a farmer. I want the land in Afghanistan to be forever fertile."" With a blink of the Genie-s eye, -POOF- the land in Afghanistan was forever made fertile.
The Indian was amazed, so he said, ""I want a wall around
India, so that no neighbors or infidels can come into our Hindustan."" Again, with a blink of the Genie-s eye, -POOF- there was a huge wall around India.

""Hmmmm"", the Pakistani asks, ""I-m very curious. Please tell me more about this wall."" The Genie explains, ""Well, it-s about 150 feet high, 50 feet thick and completely surrounds India. Nothing can get in or out.""
So the Pakistani says, ""Fill it up with water.""

An insect falls in a mug of Coca Cola.
This is what folks from different countries do...

ENGLISHMAN: throws the mug away and walks out!
AMERICAN: takes the insect out and drinks the coke!
CHINESE: eat the insect and throws the coke away!
ISRAELI: sucks coke from the insect before throwing the
insect away and drinks the remaining coke!

INDIAN: accuses Pakistan of helping the insect to in filter
into the mug, supplying it with nourishment to continue swimming in the coke, blame it as long term Islamic operation, terms the insect an Islamic militant, then an Afghan mercenary, then a Pakistan Army Regular and finally a Pakistan SSG Commando in an undercover operation and presents identity card of bug to prove that it is indeed a Pakistan Army person in an undercover operation to change the status of LoC and vows to defend each and every inch of the mug and every drop of coke!!!!!!!!!!!

Q :- Why did the Malayalee crossed the road ?
A :- Simbly.
Q :- How was wire invented?
A :- Two Marwaris spotted the same coin.
Q :- Why did the Gujju think the film Gandhi was about a woman?
A :- Because Be(h)n Kingsley was in it.
Q :- What are the degrees of egoism in Tamil Nadu?
A :- I, Iyer, Iyengar.
Q :- What is the most famous jingle in A.P. ?
A :- A.P. days are here again ...
Q :- What do you call a very rich Malayalee?
A :- MillionIyer.
Q :- What do you call a Bengali who takes bribe?
A :- Mr. Goosh.
Q :- Why won-t the gujju jeweller sell anything to the UP ka bhayiya?
A :- The bhayiya kept giving gujju a bunch of hair each time the
gujju asked for -Kesh-
Q :- What did the Gujju mean when he said, ""Ramesh no dikro States ma
gayon"" ?
A :- Ramesh-s son failed in statistics...

At the start of the Indian innings(280 required for a win),
Ganguly to Ramesh ""I am not comfortable with Akhtar-s pace. So I
will attack Akram and u take care of Akhtar.""

After 4 overs(with hardly any runs on the board),
Ramesh to Ganguly ""These guys are bowling very fast. We will see
them off and then attack Mahmood and Saqlain.""

After 13 overs(when Azhar Mahmood and Saqlain were bowling),
Ganguly to Dravid ""I don-t think we can score off these guys as
well. We will wait for Arshad Khan and Shahid Afridi. Surely we can easily
attack them. After all, Shahid Afridi is a part-time bowler.""

After Afridi bowled some overs,
Dravid to Robin Singh ""Don-t worry, Robin. I heard that England
bowlers are easier to score off. We will play out 50 overs and attack in the
next match.""

At the end of the match,
Joshi to Mongia ""Why didn-t u try to force the pace?""

Mongia to Joshi ""No, yaar. If I try to force the pace against these
bowlers, I will get out. There is only one way by which I can score runs fastly without getting out.""

Joshi to Mongia ""What is it?""

Mongia to Joshi "" You have to bowl to me.""

You might be a desi if, you have a bought a video camera just before
a Niagara trip and returned it after the trip.
You might be a desi if, you keep switching your internet service
provider because the first month is free.
You might be a desi if, the only reason you go to a
temple/church/mosque on festivals is because there is free food.
You might be a desi if, you keep comparing prices at circuit city
for the phone you bought six months ago.
You might be a desi if, if you bought a Toyota or Honda car only
because it has better resale value.
You might be a desi if, you go back to your apartment for lunch.
You might be a desi if, you know all the $1.50 theaters in your city.
You might be a desi if, you ask for a small drink at fast food
restaurant because the refill is free.
You might be a desi if, spent 2 days cleaning your apartment
before leaving so you can get full security refund from your
landlord.
You might be a desi if,you don-t know any American outside your work
You might be a desi if, the lawyer handling your green card is in
your speed dial.
You might be a desi if, you try to ignore all other unknown desi-s
around you.
You might be a desi if, you talk to Americans as if you represent
your whole country.
You might be a desi if, you frequent to yard sales every week.
You might be a desi if, your dinner involves spreading newspaper
on the living room floor.
You might be a desi if, you are compelled to visit ever major city
in US, just so as to say that ""Yes I have been there""
You might be a desi if, you have a bucket in your bath tub.
You might be a desi if, you have to borrow luggage from friends
for a visit back home.
You might be a desi if, the smoke detector goes off whenever your
are cooking dinner.
You might be a desi if, you use grocery bags as garbage bags.
You might be a desi if, office supplies mysteriously find their
way in your house.
You might be a desi if, you don-t want to buy a printer because
you can always use the office printer.
You might be a desi if, you decide to marry a girl/guy that your
parents fixed you up with.
You might be a desi if, if you smell like a curry.
You might be a desi if, you have Rin (detergent soap cake) in your
bathroom.
You might be a desi if, you have taken pictures of your car and
mailed to your folks back home.
You might be a desi if, you know all of your friends salary.
You might be a desi if, you tried to talk in a phony accent with
the freshie in the school.
You might be a desi if, there are more that 4 guys living in a
2-bedroom apartment.
You might be a desi if, you have cooking schedule in your kitchen
cabinet.
You might be a desi if, you spend at least 2 evenings in a week at
Kmart.
You might be a desi if, you split the tax from your common
grocery bill.

A little boy wanted $100 badly and prayed for two weeks but nothing happened. Then he decided to write GOD a letter requesting the $100. When the postal authorities received the letter addressed to GOD USA, they decided to send it to President Clinton. The president was so impressed, touched, and amused that he instructed his secretary to send the boy a $5.00 bill. President Clinton thought this would appear to be a lot of money to a little boy. The little boy was delighted with the $5.00 and sat down to write a thank you note to GOD, which read: Dear GOD, Thank you very much for sending the money, however, I noticed that for some reason you had to send it through Washington D.C. and, as usual, those bastards deducted 95%.

Bill Gates was in India a few days ago.
He announced that Microsoft plans to release a windows version in Hindi.
Here are some Windows related terms that may be used in the Hindi version of...
Khidkiyan97:
Phaail = File
Bachao = Save
Aise Bachao = Save as
Subko Bachao = Save All
Mujhe Bachao = Help
Dhoondo = Find
Firse Dhoondo = Find Again
Hilao = Move
Daak = Mail
Daakiya = Mailer
Paas se dhekho = Zoom
Duur se dhekho = Zoom Out
Kholo = Open
Bandh Karo = Close
Naya = New
Khatara = Old
Badli Karo = Replace
Bhaago = Run
Chhaapo = Print
Dekh Ke Chhaapo = Print Preview
Kaapi = Copy
Kaato = Cut
Kato = Stupid Houseguest
Chipkao = Paste
Payshul Chipkao = Paste Special
Goli Maaro = Delete
Nazaara = View
Hathiyaar = Tools
Hathiyaar Khambha = Toolbar
Khuli Chaadar = Spreadsheet
Iska Bhi Naam Nahin Aata = Database
Futaas Ki Goli Kha = Exit
Ped = Tree
Thooso = Compress
Chooha = mouse
Tik-Tik Karo = Click
Idhar-se-Udhar.Udhar-se-Idhar = Scrollbar
Cheers !

Bill Gates is hanging out with the chairman of
General Motors.
-If automotive technology had kept pace with
computer technology over the past few decades,-
boasts Gates, -you would now be driving a V-32
instead of a V-8, and it would have a top speed of
10,000 miles per hour,- says Gates.
-Or, you could have an economy car that weighs 30
pounds and gets a thousand miles to a gallon of
gas. In either case, the sticker price of a new
car would be less than $50,- he continues.
In response to all this goading, the GM chairman
replies, -Yes, but would you really want to drive
a car that crashes four times a day?-

One day while driving home from his fishing
trip in the pouring rain, a man got a flat tire
outside of a monastery. A monk came out
and invited the man inside to have dinner
and to spend the night. The stranded
motorist gladly accepted the monk-s offer.

That evening the man had a wonderful
dinner of fish and chips. He decided to
compliment the chef.

Entering the kitchen, the man asked the
cook, ""Are you the fish friar?"" ""No,"" the chef
replied, ""I-m the chip monk.""

Two Paki military strategists were discussing tactics to use if war occurred.
""If there is war,"" said one, ""we will have agents carry nuclear bombs concealed in suitcases to all the important cities of India and Bangladesh; New Delhi,Bombay,Pune,Calcutta,Dhaka,Madras,etc...""
""That-s an excellent idea,General,"" replied his companion.
""We certainly have enough bombs for that. But where are we going to get all those suitcases?""

A bat came flying back too his friends with blood all over his mouth. ""What happened?""
asked his friends. The bat told them to follow him. He took them over hills, through a jungal
& after quite some flying he sat on a tree, to say ""You see that tree over there?"" his friends
nodded ""i didnt"" replyed the bat.
from sad joker